Jaye Wells

Who Wears the Corduroy Pants in This Family?

The Wells family needed the fashion police yesterday.

Spawn and I drove to Mr. Jaye’s office to take him to lunch. Now, Mr. J wakes up long before I do, so I rarely even remember him leaving, much less what he’s wearing. So, yes, I was surprised when he came out to the car wearing brown corduroy pants and a navy sweater. See, I was also wearing brown corduroy pants and a navy sweater.

I’ll admit it was laundry day so I wasn’t wearing my best stuff. However, as much as I love Mr. J, I certainly don’t want to dress like him. He’s a manly man with stubble on his face and hair on his chest. I’m a girlie chick with makeup on my face and boobs on my chest.

Besides, we looked like dorks. I almost cancelled lunch to go home and change. Even the four year old was making fun of us. This from the kid who’s best fashion statement so far was to wear bright red galoshes with shorts.

To make it worse, last night Mr. Jaye pointed out that I had a gaping hole extending the length of one of my back pockets. My aqua undies were like neon when set against the brown corduroy. Keep in mind that in addition to going to lunch, I also spent a good deal of my day running around town shopping for Christmas. People all over the metroplex were lucky enough to see me dressed as a man with my skivvies hanging out my man-pants.

The good news is that throwing out those pants means Mr. J and I will never again risk looking like one of those annoying couples that dress alike on purpose. Plus, now I have to go buy more pants–so everyone wins.

9 Thoughts on “Who Wears the Corduroy Pants in This Family?

  1. There’s a lot to be said for Brown Corduroy – can’t think of anything good, but there must be…

  2. Minivans.
    (Sorry. I’m drunk).

  3. Jaye Wells on December 5, 2006 at 7:45 am said:

    Ric, if done properly they can be quite fetching. Unfortunately, I’ve never managed it.

    Ivan, minivans are the enemy. Alcohol is your friend.

  4. EA Monroe on December 5, 2006 at 8:38 am said:

    Stylin’, Jaye, especially with the neon aqua “delicates” flashing!

  5. Sela Carsen on December 5, 2006 at 9:40 am said:

    The family and I once showed up at a Chinese restaurant all wearing shirts of the exact same shade of blue. It’s actually rather depressing to be laughed at by little old Chinese ladies.

    Now we check each other before we leave the house.

    And the answer to your trouser issue? Tunic length shirts. They cover a multitude of sins. And/or panties.

  6. Jaye,
    That is profound.
    Really.

    Ivan

  7. I use to love Corduroy. Would still gladly love them if I could get rid of the muffin top.

  8. Jaye Wells on December 5, 2006 at 9:42 pm said:

    Actually, after Buffy’s comment I need to edit an earlier comment. Minivans are no longer the enemy–the dreaded muffin top is.

  9. Sela Carsen on December 7, 2006 at 9:38 am said:

    Tunics also cover muffin tops. I have lots of tunics. Lots of them.

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