Jaye Wells

Swine

Quick one today.

Random Topic of the Day: Sowbelly Pills

I received an email in my inbox yesterday that included this somewhat intriguing line:
“Want to know how to save over 60% on your sowbelly piIls?” (sic)

What? Sowbelly pills? Someone please explain to me what condition would be so horrible that one would have to resort to ingesting sowbelly. A quick search on google revealed numerous links to penis growth and “Staying power” web sites. I’m sorry, but if you’re trying to be sexy, telling a woman that your prowess is due to the miracle of sowbelly just ruins the mood. Although it does give a whole knew meaning to the term “porking.” Also, unless I am incorrect, a sow’s belly is made up of–hmm, what could it be?–FAT. Why not just drink a cup of lard, guys? Hold on baby, I gotta go drink my lard befre I can sex you up. Ok, I have to stop thinking about this.

Tonight is my first critique group meeting. Please send good chi into the universe for me that my dreams don’t crash and burn tonight. How’s that for a “glass is half full” outlook?

Thank you, hubby and Jennifer E., for your comments. Jennifer wins because she answered all the questions.

Aren’t you people jealous? It could have been you who was immortalized. But no, you’re too good to answer my questions. Luckily, there is a chance today to redeem yourself.

Random Question of the Day: What is the strangest beauty or health routine you’ve ever used?

Here’s mine: I used to use that Mane and Tail stuff they use on horse’s coats on my hair to make it thick. It worked, but it also gave my hair the constency of straw.
My aunt uses this stuff called Pig Paste, I guess they give it to pigs for something, but she uses it for indigestion. It actually looks like a tube of toothpaste, except for pigs.

Hmm. Pig Paste? Sowbelly? I sense a theme today. Ok I am signing off, so I don’t hog the internet. (God, I’m witty.)

Jaye

P.S. Zivy and I are still waiting to give out advice. People, it’s free. Throw us a bone here.

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