Jaye Wells

Author Archives: Jayewells

Monkeys, Toots, and Giants–Oh My!

Happy Monday!

Today’s Random Topic: Monkeys

I like monkeys. A lot. They’re hairy and fun. But best of all? They have tails. I have often longed for a monkey tail of my own. My tail would be long with a pad at the tip for gripping. Imagine the possibilities! Hands full of groceries? Let the tail get the door. Can’t shove chocolate into your mouth fast enough with two hands? Tail to the rescue. I know that a tail would cause problems. How would one wear pants? What is the etiquette if someone misinterprets an innocent tail swish as an aggressive act? Would it make me have one of those red butts? If the last possibility could happen I would definitely have to scrap the whole idea. Before we had a kid, Mr. Jaye and I talked about creating our own race of humans with tails. We’d have our own Island of Dr. Moreau (written by H.G. Wells–no relation) populated with tailed kids. Sadly, Spawn was born sans tail. We love him anyway. End of topic.

Ah, the joys of motherhood. Although there are infinite examples of indignities from the day you become pregnant on, perhaps one of the worst experiences in the life of a mother is potty training. The dialogue alone is enough to make less brave souls cringe. An example: “Can you toot? Push! Yay! You pooped!” Enough said about that subject.

Spawn made us very proud yesterday. We were in the play area at a local mall. Luckily our visit was almost over because if we stayed after this incident it would not have been pretty. A large man, a very large man, came into the area with his son. Now when I say large, I mean like 6’5″ AND obese. Little Spawn’s voice rang out over the din, “Mom, it’s a giant!” We hushed him as we hurriedly put his shoes on. He felt this information was too important to be ignored. So louder this time, he said, “It’s a giant, Mom!” We ran away lest the giant eat us.

I have decided to add a new feature to my blahg. Yes, I know it’s only my second day doing this, but let’s all be willing to evolve a bit, shall we? The new feature is called “Random Question of the Day.” I will ask a question and you can answer it in the comments section. The person with the best answer will be mentioned in my next entry. That’s correct! If you’re clever, you will be immortalized in Jaye’s Blahg! Lucky you! Now on to the question.

Random Question of the Day: What additional body part would you add to make your life easier and why?

Have fun with that one! Hope you have a great day.